Hudson River Raft Trip Highlights & Past
from the writings on the "wall" and the memories of Chip…
2001 - 13th Year - June 2, 2001
2000 - 12th Year, May 20th ( 24 people, 15 rafters)
(chronologically from Thursday through Saturday night)
I need another beer! (Dante)
Al, (said to Dante) you put a little weight on… didn’t you (Andre)
He whined all the way up! (re: Vito)
By the way Dante, your fingers are on fire!
Vito: 6:05 Day one, I’m Done!
Had to rearrange your lungs.
The knife is sticking in the floor!
I tired of writing this shit!
I didn’t want black, I wanted green.
Vito had talk over food.
sure you’re not a postal worker (said to Sean… throwing knives in
TP in the
hearing is not as bad as your slurring (to Vito)
slur as good as you walk.
make me spank you!
I want to
be as drunk as Chip (Joe)
sober, he’s a great actor (Billy about Chip)
has HOOTER ENVY! (everyone to Christina about Maggie)
fucked up! (Chip at 12:38am)
I got $30
(Chip… lap dance conversation)
could come of this (Christina & Maggie putting Chip to bed)
you’re feeling so good that shit just … blah, blah, blah… mumble,
mumble, slur.. (Chip)
going to have sex now! (Billy)
I’m still drunk!” (Tim as he got out of bed)
past stupid & kept drinking to moron (Tim)
what are you going to go around twice?
too much meat for me!
going to have a tough time swallowing that one!
starting to get cocked!
I do? Get it up?” (chip)
station… 107.2 (Andre)
stone houses shouldn’t…. (take a guess who said that)
my leg man! I know I know!
I want to
start lactating (Christina)
here” (Chip in reply points to table)
though one open eye… “it’s Maggie!”
I feel so
good I’m gonna puke!
(Glenn P. just before anyone else smelled it… CLEARED the room)
you’re in trouble when you ask for a quarter in a game of 3-man!
everybody can get screwed by Maggie (Joe got caught by quarter)
are numb (Dina)
the Andre Decoder Ring
where is everybody? Santana is on! (Ags)
very painful. Where’s the rum?
& Glenn show!
stupid (Tim B.)
here (in a girly voice… Tim W.)
are sticky (Tom Lavoie)
sore, Loser (Elisa to Billy)
Now I know
why you guys call her dink (Dave)
If you go
outside, watch out because there’s a nasty step out there (Elisa)
to roll again! You can’t keep using the same 21 to make people drink!
I only had
2 hits and they were not that bad (Elisa)
not letting that Vito guy in here! (Elisa 2:30 Friday night)
that guy who broke my nose… Andre… yeah, that little shit (Mary, the
you guys are the FISH HEADS…. RETREAT! (other raft guide who
tried to screw with us)
don’t want any trouble (kid in other raft)
They still have their guns! (other rafters)
gun at raft, 1st two rafters duck & cover
hole almost renamed Kristin’s Hole (lost Sean & Tim)
is in timeout
count on him anyway (re: Vito)
stopped me from putting my hands in their mouth.
1999 - 11th Year, May 8th ( 22 people, 19 rafters)
(chronologically from Thursday through Saturday night)
We need to patronize the community!
What are you Bob Villa or something? (Tim to
Chip about mounting blow up fish)
It looks like a friggin erection! (Andre)
Chip taught us all about blow up devices (TL)
Hey, play that... "I fall down song"
(guess who... yes, Andre)
I would never play with the little guy. (Andre)
Why do you think she's giving it to you every
Women are there for you because later they will
run your life.
OH THAT WAS BAD!
WE DON'T DO SHOTS HERE! (After Shock Shots!)
I thought it was Sierra (Tim/Adrienne)
I have to start everything and end everything
Adrienne gots her strap on.
What is a shot? That's a fuckin' BIG shot!
That's a fuckin' BIG shot! (Adrienne bailed
I'll sit on your lap.. IT'LL be good (Adrienne
Is this a T-Bone Right?
Let's send one off their bow! (rafting comment)
First rafting year with a baby... we're GETTING
Let me make a T-Bone right shot with my
When we're done with this do you want a "FROGEN
I was in my happy place.
Pass the quarter to the REFT! (yes.. with an
I don't get caught!!... OOPS! (said wrigs just
before getting nailed in speed quarters)
Maggie gets one guy drunk. It's usually Vito.
Don't wipe - you don't have time! (Billy to
Don't blame him because you suck!!! (Billy)
It was when you were picking up chicks in
Tommy says Vito is just a giant wussy (not to
HURRICANE VITO! If it is not tied down, Vito
will eat it! (after 2AM)
Gotta Go..., I have got to get my ass wiped
Too much baby talk!
It's "smart food" ... it self
generates! (Andre... but you knew that...)
You "Dilly Lipper!" (Andre... trying
to say "Lily Dipper")
Andre's looking dapper!
She grabbed Andre's Ass! (Sierra)
Stick this on your butt!
"We like to poop" (Andre)
I didn't do anything with the sex part - I just
dished out the money. (Chip)
Chip... you're lucky! (Maggie)
Maggie controls Chip's quarters!!!
That's the best release I've had so far! (Dave)
Should we kick Bill's ass now or later?
Stick _this_ on your butt! (again?)
[a visual... Maggie was to draw later.. ]
Nothing good can come from that.
It's so much work lining it up with your face.
When you're drunk you can bail out (Dave)
I'm taking the "Maggie Challenge"
and lost again, again, again,...
She got caught! Oh that's unusual (Dave to
I need to melt the liguid [couldn't read name]
Tim said he wants her to Maggie [couldn't read
[editors note: the writing is atrocious at this point!]
Stop It! My wrist is starting to hurt! (Vito)
Once she shows me the outfit, I'm all set.
Pagers are meant to be worn.
RRRRRRRRiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhttttttt!!! (take a guess)
I think the existing alcohol is kickin' in.
Right that down!
She marks her territory.
Dave on V.O. Dave's on shoes. [ ? ]
It's pretty scary!
If your nose has to go there ... (Andre)
I'll have Maggie after me! (Christina)
[Christina has not been even nearly spelled correctly yet]
It's better when Vito doesn't sing.
Tom fucked himself (Christina)
[Christina was spelled "Kristy" and "Tina" here]
My ass is happy. (Chip)
You're gonna get to give it to ...
Oh God!... I tasted that one! (Joe breaks wind
again in mixed crowd)
A visual (Christina tongues vito)
[of course Andre wrote above "christin tonug vito"]
Dave invents game he regrets (drinks all)
A visual (Christina points her ass and says
"Bite Me") [spelled christin again]
I feel numb in the face now! (Dave)
"Why say anything... you'll just make it
all up later" (Maggie to Andre)
Can you guys stop playing around because I
don't want to get screwed here (Christina to the room)
[yes... spelled Kristina this time]
My teeth are numb! (Dave)
Andre takes the Dave Game - the "Dave Challenge"
[That ends the wall writing from this year!]
Notes:Text in brackets [ ] are my comments. Text in () are the people who made the quote
1998 - 10th Year, May 16th (23 people, 20 rafters)
1997 - 9th Year !
"Drink ‘em both!" - Di …"No!! He’s in our raft!!" - Chip
- 2 ½ hours until first highlight
"All you have to do is piss a little first to get the bad shit out - then you’re okay" - Andre
"Somebody’s got to paddle" - Andre
"No Chip throwing contest this year!" - Chip
- Andre is in throwing mode - expect retaliation.
"He hit the sport and it goes right in!" - Jenn
"If it smells like cologne, leave it alone - if it smells like fish - tasty dish!" - Ellen
"Mouth is going to motor, body has to write the check!" - Vito
"You know we have bathrooms!!" - Anonymous…. "SO!" - Andre
"FREE LOVE!" (Kim)
Maggie got Traded!!
"It felt good Vito!" - Maggie
"I hate to tell you, but I am a virgin" - Maggie
"Girls get 2 Shots!" - Tommy
"I let you live here!" - ??
"In a wetsuit, everyone looks the same!"
"Somebody put your thing in this…. it’s good!" - Andre
"Let’s go have sex!" - Dave to Di…. Di jumped up…. THEY DID!
Glen R. gets the babbles at 4AM
"TAKE ME NOW!" - Maggie
"It’s self emptying"
"Don’t worry honey, I can find it"
"write on the wall when you run out of paper"
"Hold my beer if you want sex" (Raft #2)
"Good night Glenn - Do a shot with me before you go!" - Maggie
"MOUNT THE WEENIE!!" - Raft #1
"A C U N A tomato" - Andre (The lion King song attempt)
"She is wider than I thought she was"
"Stop whining & roll the dice!" - Maggie to Vito
"RAFT 2!! RAFT 2!!"
"REST, REST, REST!" - Phil (guide in raft 2)
Glenn P. passed out on the toilet.
Andre went to take picture of Glenn on toilet - oops … not Glenn - was Kristina "Why don’t they knock?"
"Why don’t you lock the door?" - Tom to Kristina
"Billy’s eating Vito’s nuts!"
"Maggie was holding Vito’s nuts when he was shooting!"
"By the way, I’m drunk!" - Kim
"Do you want to screw me or Vito? - Kim to Chip
"I hate the purple Die"
"The weiner will rise again!"
"I got sand in my pu__y!"
"You only got 2 weiners between the 10 of ya!"
"I need somebody here!" - Chris
"Never, Never, play speed quarters with Martinis" - Vito
1996 - 8th Year
- Raft Wars!!
- We drew 1st blood - BROKE THE RAFT GUIDES NOSE!
- Maggie gets tossed by guide while sitting harmlessly in the raft. (Billy got even!)
- Shelling Ags with beer cans! (Paranoia)
- Andre’s wall crash!
- Vito’s chair crash!
- Only 2 "yackers"
- Wifes/marriages claim 2 good rafters - Gx2 are no shows!
- (I don’t remember much else J )
1995 - 7th Year
- Andre gets "drowned" (dunked) by the raft guide through the rapids!!
- Tom’s "flying leap" to the "other" raft - belly flop!
- Chip gets pulled out of the raft when dousing other raft with 5 gallons of water.
- Glen gets rejected by raft guide in an attempt to "save the pail!"
- Mountain biking in the rain L
- The "CHILI" atmosphere all weekend (thanx Glen P).
- Glen P. falls asleep in closet awaiting "pouncing"
- TIC-TAC-TOE - Glen & John play it with lipstick on Tom’s face while sleeping.
- John finally falls asleep - Tom’s REVENGE!! (Thanks for the make-up Maggie!!)
-"Wiffle Egg" - A surprised Tom bats an egg thinking it a whiffle ball - cost: $32 cleanup.
- Drank friends ¼ keg within 1½ hours!
- Nothing Broke!!!!
- Found out how boring the "caps" game is.
- 2 pounds of hot dogs will make ANY dog puke!
- Quote from raft guide Colleen" Where’s that whiny guy who was with you last year … Vito?"
- No Chromer.
1994 - 6th year
- $25 Cleaning charge - stains on carpet.
- Dave R tries to pee in the corner behind the table.
- Ron brings "PEZ"
- no Chromer
1993 - 5th year
- Chromer shows up AGAIN!!!
- Glen Z sleeps in closet to avoid midnight "pouncing"
1992 - 4th year
- Chip brings 425 Jell-O shots!
- Quote From Chromer - Arrives Sat night @ 10:00pm and says: "I don't know about the rest of you, but I came here to pass out"! Passes out 4 hours & 10 minutes later. Also quotes: "I'm the funniest guy I know" & "I'm my own best friend".
- Chip falls on face & bruises head
- Glen P. falls on head, obtaining a matching bruise, although remembers nothing.
- Ed D. pukes on couch.
- Paul breaks lamp, tells Gretchen to get a life and a new face, pisses everybody else off.
- Glen R head butts Vito!
- 4 people blew chow! Ed D, Jeff H, Dave S, Mike M (morning).
- 1 Lamp broken, 4 Chairs Broken, 1 Table top ruined
- Quote from the guide: "God it smells like alcohol in here"
1991 - 3rd year
- Chip tries to sleep with the neighbors - walked into wrong condo, thought "everybody" was passed out it was so quiet.
1990 - 2nd year
1989 - 1st year
- "The Freshmen" year!
- Craig Raeburn & who? (oh.. plural?)
- "Gunner" puts his head through the wall - we patched it.
Chip Dyer, August 20, 2006.