Hudson River Raft Trip Highlights & Past Experiences
from the writings on the "wall" and the memories of Chip…

2001 - 13^th Year - June 2, 2001
coming soon...

2000 - 12th Year, May 20th ( 24 people, 15 rafters)
(chronologically from Thursday through Saturday night)

•        I need another beer! (Dante)

•        Al, (said to Dante) you put a little weight on… didn’t you (Andre)

•        He whined all the way up! (re: Vito)

•        By the way Dante, your fingers are on fire!

•        Vito: 6:05 Day one, I’m Done!

•        Had to rearrange your lungs.

•        The knife is sticking in the floor!

•        I tired of writing this shit!

•        I didn’t want black, I wanted green.

•        Vito – RELAX already!

•        First time Vito had talk over food.

•        Are you sure you’re not a postal worker (said to Sean… throwing knives in kitchen)

•        TP in the freezer!

•        His hearing is not as bad as your slurring (to Vito)

•        You don’t slur as good as you walk.

•        Spark it up!

•        Don’t make me spank you!

•        I want to be as drunk as Chip (Joe)

•        If he’s sober, he’s a great actor (Billy about Chip)

•        Christina has HOOTER ENVY! (everyone to Christina about Maggie)

•        I’m fucked up! (Chip at 12:38am)

•        Tim’s a kiss-ass!

•        I got $30 (Chip… lap dance conversation)

•        No good could come of this (Christina & Maggie putting Chip to bed)

•        I’m the Woman! (Tim)

•        You know you’re feeling so good that shit just … blah, blah, blah… mumble, mumble, slur.. (Chip)

•        We’re going to have sex now! (Billy)

 Friday – 11am:

•        “Yep… I’m still drunk!” (Tim as he got out of bed)

•        I blew past stupid & kept drinking to moron (Tim)

•        27 Holes… what are you going to go around twice?

•        That’s too much meat for me!

•        I’m going to have a tough time swallowing that one!

•        I’m starting to get cocked!

•        “What do I do? Get it up?” (chip)

•        Good radio station… 107.2 (Andre)

•        People in stone houses shouldn’t…. (take a guess who said that)

•        That’s my leg man! I know I know!

•        I want to start lactating (Christina)

•        “jump up here” (Chip in reply points to table)

•        Chip, though one open eye… “it’s Maggie!”

•        I feel so good I’m gonna puke!

•        I stink! (Glenn P. just before anyone else smelled it… CLEARED the room)

•        You know you’re in trouble when you ask for a quarter in a game of 3-man!

•        Not everybody can get screwed by Maggie (Joe got caught by quarter)

•        My lips are numb (Dina)

•        Billy has the Andre Decoder Ring

•        Hey , where is everybody? Santana is on! (Ags)

•        Today was very painful. Where’s the rum?

•        The Glenn & Glenn show!

•        Me no stupid (Tim B.)

•        Come over here (in a girly voice… Tim W.)

•        My hands are sticky (Tom Lavoie)

 Other condo

•        I’m not sore, Loser (Elisa to Billy)

•        Dina – saving herself???

•        Now I know why you guys call her dink (Dave)

•        Speed Mexicans!

•        If you go outside, watch out because there’s a nasty step out there (Elisa)

•        You have to roll again! You can’t keep using the same 21 to make people drink!

•        Roll the dice bitch!

•        I only had 2 hits and they were not that bad (Elisa)

•        We’re not letting that Vito guy in here! (Elisa 2:30 Friday night)

Rafting

•        Who’s that guy who broke my nose… Andre… yeah, that little shit (Mary, the raft guide)

•        Wait… you guys are the FISH HEADS…. RETREAT! (other raft guide who tried to screw with us)

•        Please, we don’t want any trouble (kid in other raft)

•        OH GOD! They still have their guns! (other rafters)

•        Tim point gun at raft, 1^st two rafters duck & cover

•        Mary’s hole almost renamed Kristin’s Hole (lost Sean & Tim)

•        Oh no, chick flick

•        Our raft is in timeout

•        Nice long powerful stroke

•        I never count on him anyway (re: Vito)

•        Nobody stopped me from putting my hands in their mouth.

1999 - 11th Year, May 8th ( 22 people, 19 rafters)
(chronologically from Thursday through Saturday night)

•  We need to patronize the community!

•  What are you Bob Villa or something? (Tim to Chip about mounting blow up fish)

•  It looks like a friggin erection! (Andre)

•  Chip taught us all about blow up devices (TL)

•  Hey, play that... "I fall down song" (guess who... yes, Andre)

•  I would never play with the little guy. (Andre)

•  Why do you think she's giving it to you every other day?

•  Women are there for you because later they will run your life.

•  OH THAT WAS BAD!

•  WE DON'T DO SHOTS HERE! (After Shock Shots!)

•  I thought it was Sierra (Tim/Adrienne)

•  I have to start everything and end everything (Adrienne)

•  Adrienne gots her strap on.

•  What is a shot? That's a fuckin' BIG shot! (Adrienne)

•  That's a fuckin' BIG shot! (Adrienne bailed out!)

•  I'll sit on your lap.. IT'LL be good (Adrienne to Paul)

•  Is this a T-Bone Right?

•  Let's send one off their bow! (rafting comment)

•  First rafting year with a baby... we're GETTING OLD!!

•  Let me make a T-Bone right shot with my LANDWEDGE! (Andre)

•  When we're done with this do you want a "FROGEN HOGGER"

•  HAPPY PLACE!

•  I was in my happy place.

•  Pass the quarter to the REFT! (yes.. with an "R")

•  I don't get caught!!... OOPS! (said wrigs just before getting nailed in speed quarters)

•  He's "DONE-FUCKED!"

•  Maggie gets one guy drunk. It's usually Vito.

•  Don't wipe - you don't have time! (Billy to Maggie)

•  Don't blame him because you suck!!! (Billy)

•  It was when you were picking up chicks in college!

•  Tommy says Vito is just a giant wussy (not to his face)

•  HURRICANE VITO! If it is not tied down, Vito will eat it! (after 2AM)

•  Gotta Go..., I have got to get my ass wiped (Sierra)

•  Too much baby talk!

•  It's "smart food" ... it self generates! (Andre... but you knew that...)

•  You "Dilly Lipper!" (Andre... trying to say "Lily Dipper")

•  Andre's looking dapper!

•  She grabbed Andre's Ass! (Sierra)

•  Stick this on your butt!

•  "We like to poop" (Andre)

•  I didn't do anything with the sex part - I just dished out the money. (Chip)

•  Chip... you're lucky! (Maggie)

•  Maggie controls Chip's quarters!!!

•  That's the best release I've had so far! (Dave)

•  Should we kick Bill's ass now or later?

•  Stick _this_ on your butt! (again?)

•  [a visual... Maggie was to draw later.. ]

•  Nothing good can come from that.

•  It's so much work lining it up with your face.

•  When you're drunk you can bail out (Dave)

•  I'm taking the "Maggie Challenge" (Tim)

•  and lost again, again, again,...

•  She got caught! Oh that's unusual (Dave to Christina)

•  I need to melt the liguid [couldn't read name]

•  Tim said he wants her to Maggie [couldn't read name]
      [editors note: the writing is atrocious at this point!]

•  Stop It! My wrist is starting to hurt! (Vito)

•  Once she shows me the outfit, I'm all set.

•  Pagers are meant to be worn.

•  OW!

•  RRRRRRRRiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhttttttt!!! (take a guess)

•  I think the existing alcohol is kickin' in.

•  Right that down!

•  She marks her territory.

•  Dave on V.O. Dave's on shoes. [ ? ]

•  It's pretty scary!

•  If your nose has to go there ... (Andre)

•  I'll have Maggie after me! (Christina)
      [Christina has not been even nearly spelled correctly yet]

•  It's better when Vito doesn't sing.

•  Tom fucked himself  (Christina)
      [Christina was spelled "Kristy" and "Tina" here]

•  My ass is happy. (Chip)

•  You're gonna get to give it to ...

•  Oh God!... I tasted that one! (Joe breaks wind again in mixed crowd)

•  A visual (Christina tongues vito)
      [of course Andre wrote above "christin tonug vito"]

•  Dave invents game he regrets (drinks all)

•  A visual (Christina points her ass and says "Bite Me") [spelled christin again]

•  I feel numb in the face now! (Dave)

•  "Why say anything... you'll just make it all up later" (Maggie to Andre)

•  Can you guys stop playing around because I don't want to get screwed here (Christina to the room)
      [yes... spelled Kristina this time]

•  My teeth are numb! (Dave)

•  Andre takes the Dave Game - the "Dave Challenge"

 [That ends the wall writing from this year!]

 Notes:Text in brackets [ ] are my comments.   Text in () are the people who made the quote

1998 - 10^th Year, May 16^th (23 people, 20 rafters)

• Bets to what time Vito arrives (left at 9:30AM) 3:45/4:20/4:30 ACTUAL was 3:15!
• Amish… Jewish…. Eh…. It’s an "ish"
• Damn List!
• I don’t have a Problem with it!
• I don’t want to play this fucking game!
• I thought that brace was for your penis… I was impressed…
• You can go bink ohhhh
• Is he in the picture???
• Fucken Bugs!!!
• Good fucken cookies!!
• Good fucken Ziti!!
• He didn’t tell us he was pregnant! (Glenn)
• We got olives, we got martinis till they are coming out our ass!!
• The more I drink the more I stay the same!
• I told you not to throw my fucking butane!
• I think I drank so much the PH of my eyes changed!! (Ags)
• Fuck You Game!
• I think you just bought a door!
• Why do we do this to ourselves?
• Fuck! Are my nipples hard!
• Oh Lord we fucked this couch! (T.K.)
• Hey!… That’s my BED!
• How far can Tim Throw a golf club?
• The married couple fucked me!
• Oh…. She’s knocked up!
• She’s farting for two!
• I’m so drunk, I actually know my name.
• You bet your ass SHE is going rafting tomorrow!
• Sphincter burn!!
• Vito… are you still complaining?
• Hey… It’s Screen Walker! … Luke ScreenWalker!
• The stage broke down for my …
• Oh… that’s gonna leave a mark! (Ags fell off stage!)
• Don’t write that down!
• Oh!… That tugged a root!
• I’m not drunk… I’m just faking it… (Chip)
• At 2AM Andre said "Tommy was out finishing up with Maggie"
• Did you get your Rice Krispie treats?
• That was not cool!
• Nice Grab dude! (Andre)
• "Use the door Luke!"
• re: Karen & V from Bob on raft: "first he’s getting it from her then from me!"
• They had NO idea!
• No rafting injuries, only condo injuries!
• Don’t fuck with a bald man!
• Caroline in the city twice
• Sat: 11:00PM – "I’m Done" (Glen P)
• If I have to come over there, I’ll pour the whole thing down your throat!
• Marty Moose – You DickWad!
• If it’s full I’ll drink it, if it’s not full I won’t drink it (Chip)
• Sat. 2:30AM: She’ll be over, she’s just showering (Billy letting us know Maggie is on her way)
• Hey! Switch that couch!
• Hey Screen Boy!
• Let’s blame screen boy!
• It’s tough when you write when U R drunk!
• Take a cold shower and sit on the stove! (no hot water)
• That’s why my tongues burning
• Glenn R says "you can be in my foursome"
• You can play with my balls… "Dream on" (K.P.)
• No means yes and yes means no (K.P)
• "The best part of PeachTree is the smell when it comes back up!" (Victoria)
• Yeah it’s all up top
• If it was 25 feet and made me scream, I wouldn’t swallow either!
• Oooohhhh… she’s knocked Up!
• The crazyness The crazyness in 62!
• Tommy did it! … really…
• It’s a beer brownie!
• Screen Walker!
• Downstairs bathroom will herby be known as Karen’s Bedroom!
• Stuborn Italian.. stuborn!
• Vito vs Karen – Vito wins!
• Vito vs Ags – Ags wins!
• David vs Screen – Screen wins!
• "I touch ‘em, I bang ‘em, but I don’t spill them" (Glenn R)
• "I like it when it does that bouncy thing" (Shannon the raft guide)
• We were listening to the alligator song that you dance on chairs to…
• We were dancing on the chairs normally (Andre)

1997 - 9^th Year !
"Drink ‘em both!" - Di …"No!! He’s in our raft!!" - Chip
- 2 ½ hours until first highlight
"All you have to do is piss a little first to get the bad shit out - then you’re okay" - Andre
"Somebody’s got to paddle" - Andre
"No Chip throwing contest this year!" - Chip
- Andre is in throwing mode - expect retaliation.
"He hit the sport and it goes right in!" - Jenn
"If it smells like cologne, leave it alone - if it smells like fish - tasty dish!" - Ellen
"Mouth is going to motor, body has to write the check!" - Vito
"You know we have bathrooms!!" - Anonymous…. "SO!" - Andre
"FREE LOVE!" (Kim)
Maggie got Traded!!
"It felt good Vito!" - Maggie
"I hate to tell you, but I am a virgin" - Maggie
"Girls get 2 Shots!" - Tommy
"I let you live here!" - ??
"In a wetsuit, everyone looks the same!"
"Somebody put your thing in this…. it’s good!" - Andre
"Let’s go have sex!" - Dave to Di…. Di jumped up…. THEY DID!
Glen R. gets the babbles at 4AM
"TAKE ME NOW!" - Maggie
"It’s self emptying"
"Don’t worry honey, I can find it"
"write on the wall when you run out of paper"
"Beer Wench!"
"Hold my beer if you want sex" (Raft #2)
"Good night Glenn - Do a shot with me before you go!" - Maggie
"MOUNT THE WEENIE!!" - Raft #1
"A C U N A tomato" - Andre (The lion King song attempt)
"She is wider than I thought she was"
"Stop whining & roll the dice!" - Maggie to Vito
"RAFT 2!! RAFT 2!!"
"REST, REST, REST!" - Phil (guide in raft 2)
Glenn P. passed out on the toilet.
Andre went to take picture of Glenn on toilet - oops … not Glenn - was Kristina "Why don’t they knock?"
"Why don’t you lock the door?" - Tom to Kristina
"Billy’s eating Vito’s nuts!"
"Maggie was holding Vito’s nuts when he was shooting!"
"By the way, I’m drunk!" - Kim
"Do you want to screw me or Vito? - Kim to Chip
"I hate the purple Die"
"The weiner will rise again!"
"I got sand in my pu__y!"
"You only got 2 weiners between the 10 of ya!"
"I need somebody here!" - Chris
"Never, Never, play speed quarters with Martinis" - Vito 

1996 - 8^th Year
- Raft Wars!!
- We drew 1^st blood - BROKE THE RAFT GUIDES NOSE!
- Dipsticks!
- Maggie gets tossed by guide while sitting harmlessly in the raft. (Billy got even!)
- Shelling Ags with beer cans! (Paranoia)
- Andre’s wall crash!
- Vito’s chair crash!
- Jagermeister!
- Only 2 "yackers"
- Wifes/marriages claim 2 good rafters - Gx2 are no shows!
- (I don’t remember much else J )

1995 - 7th Year
- Andre gets "drowned" (dunked) by the raft guide through the rapids!!
- Tom’s "flying leap" to the "other" raft - belly flop!
- Chip gets pulled out of the raft when dousing other raft with 5 gallons of water.
- Glen gets rejected by raft guide in an attempt to "save the pail!"
- Mountain biking in the rain L
- The "CHILI" atmosphere all weekend (thanx Glen P).
- Glen P. falls asleep in closet awaiting "pouncing"
- TIC-TAC-TOE - Glen & John play it with lipstick on Tom’s face while sleeping.
- John finally falls asleep - Tom’s REVENGE!! (Thanks for the make-up Maggie!!)
-"Wiffle Egg" - A surprised Tom bats an egg thinking it a whiffle ball - cost: $32 cleanup.
- Drank friends ¼ keg within 1½ hours!
- Nothing Broke!!!!
- Found out how boring the "caps" game is.
- 2 pounds of hot dogs will make ANY dog puke!
- Quote from raft guide Colleen" Where’s that whiny guy who was with you last year … Vito?"
- No Chromer.

1994 - 6th year
- $25 Cleaning charge - stains on carpet.
- Dave R tries to pee in the corner behind the table.
- Ron brings "PEZ"
- no Chromer

1993 - 5th year
- Chromer shows up AGAIN!!!
- Glen Z sleeps in closet to avoid midnight "pouncing"

1992 - 4th year
- Chip brings 425 Jell-O shots!
- Quote From Chromer - Arrives Sat night @ 10:00pm and says: "I don't know about the rest of you, but I came here to pass out"! Passes out 4 hours & 10 minutes later. Also quotes: "I'm the funniest guy I know" & "I'm my own best friend".
- Chip falls on face & bruises head
- Glen P. falls on head, obtaining a matching bruise, although remembers nothing.
- Ed D. pukes on couch.
- Paul breaks lamp, tells Gretchen to get a life and a new face, pisses everybody else off.
- Glen R head butts Vito!
- 4 people blew chow! Ed D, Jeff H, Dave S, Mike M (morning).
- 1 Lamp broken, 4 Chairs Broken, 1 Table top ruined
- Quote from the guide: "God it smells like alcohol in here"

1991 - 3rd year
- Chip tries to sleep with the neighbors - walked into wrong condo, thought "everybody" was passed out it was so quiet.

1990 - 2nd year

1989 - 1st year
- "The Freshmen" year!
- Craig Raeburn & who? (oh.. plural?)
- "Gunner" puts his head through the wall - we patched it.

Chip Dyer, August 20, 2006.